Law of Attraction, I’m Trying It: Part 2

Yesterday, after I posted the first list of 11 affirmations, I was drained. I spent the afternoon in a very gloomy and dark place. It was reminiscent of the time when I was married. I felt hollow, consumed by the blackness within me. I could not think, and could not write (since I had planned to write this post last night.)

Some would say this is part of the healing process. I don’t know. I am looking forward to a better experience this time around.

Positives since yesterday: my new friend, Steve Bunyan, has graciously offered to continue this quest with me, by offering his life coaching experience free to me on this blog. So, while I’m walking this path, I won’t be alone.

I also rested more last night, while I slept. I woke up with more energy than I’ve had recently. I also got a handful of chores done this morning. Good accomplishments!

11 More Negatives Turned Positives:

1. I have no answers. ~~~ I have all the answers.

I am an intelligent person. I have found creative solutions to many of my problems in the past, including dealing with creditors, and researching the steps to make my writing business grow. Anything that I don’t know immediately, I can find on the internet. Easy peasy.

2. I have no abilities. ~~~ I am talented and capable.

Obviously, no one has no abilities! I am a gifted writer, and this has been validated by being paid and published. I am a good mother to my children. I can sing (well enough for my ears, at least.) I can work hard to reach my dreams. I can take good photographs. I can bring people together and soothe heated tempers. I can cook many of my favorite dishes. I can explore my self and bring the demons into the light.

3. I have to be sorry. ~~~ I am proud of myself.

This one warrants a little explanation. Whenever anything goes wrong in anyone’s life, I catch myself apologizing for it, even when I had nothing to do with it. There is no reason for me to be ashamed of my actions! I am able to share my accomplishments with others, on Twitter and Plurk, and accept their congratulations. I have done a lot of things to be proud of. I am raising two beautiful children. I am reaching for my goals even when things look dark.

4. I am a bad mother. ~~~ I am an excellent mom.

My daughters are ages four and two right now. They are happy and healthy, and not afraid to be themselves. I am the reason they have food in their bellies, and can go outside to play in nature. I spend quality time with them, and am teaching them how to grow into happy adults. Even when I don’t see the immediate results, I am laying the groundwork down for their lifelong happiness.

5. I am not attracting good. ~~~ I am attracting good things in my life.

Well, I attracted Steve to this blog! I also attract great friends, as my increasing following on Twitter and Plurk has shown me. I attract people who are a good match to my personality, and who only wish the best for me. (Plurk pals especially! You all rock!) I also had to buy some weed killer this morning (long story) and I was thinking that I needed to find it for less than five dollars, otherwise I would go to a different store. Turns out, I found some for around three dollars!

6. I cannot focus. ~~~ I am focused.

I am focused on this blog, certainly! It has renewed my frequent blogging schedule, which I find invigorating. This morning, I was focused on getting some housework done, which went rather well.

7. I cannot find the answers. ~~~ I am capable of finding solutions.

Have you ever asked a question on Twitter? People often throw themselves on you to answer you and be helpful! I also found the solution I needed with the electric company, and am working on one with the landlord. And of course, Google is only a click away!

8. I am alone. ~~~ I am surrounded by my loved ones.

I have a great man, and two beautiful children, who would do anything to help me. I have a great family, who do what they can. And of course, my online friends have been there with me every step of the way, listening to my concerns and pointing me in the right direction.

9. I cannot find help. ~~~ I am able to find the help I need.

These do sound repetitive, don’t they?? My mind has had a tendency to get stuck! I am able to seek out help. I queried a few leads yesterday, and am waiting to hear back. These will help by providing me with fresh income while I get more writing done.

10. I am annoying. ~~~ I am a joy to be around.

I have plenty of friends who haven’t dropped me, so it must be true! I have also been told that I am an inspiration to people, which is a strange feeling. Yet I do seek out the best in people, and try to point them down their right path.

11. I am a failure. ~~~ I am successful.

This blog is evidence that I am successful! I am still writing, and drawing positive energies into my life. I am always striving to do better and be better. Not giving up is proof that I am a success.

Have any of you had experience with these kinds of affirmations? I’d love to hear your stories! Check back for part three of my affirmations!

~Kimberlee

Law of Attraction: I’m Trying It, Part 1

So, in the comments of my last post, a helpful Life Coach by the name of Steve Bunyan stopped by and gave me a suggestion. He said I should do the exercise lined out in his article, Outgrowing Your Limiting Beliefs.

This is simply where you write down all of the negative thoughts floating through your mind, and rephrase them into positive ones. He adds that you should look for evidence in your life to support the positive affirmations.

Now, I’ve tried this method before (in a wishy-washy, what-good-is-it gonna-do-anyway kind of way), but I decided to give it a good ole try here. Why? Because I know I have limiting beliefs. I “know” that they’re wrong, and yet they exist anyway. Besides, it can’t hurt to try, right?

Now, I only did one page of these affirmations, which totals (in my pretty purple notebook) 33 items. I haven’t yet written out the evidence part, and will do that as I go. I’m breaking it up into 3 posts of 11 affirmations, for easier reading.

Will this help? I’ll let you know. Here we go people!

11 Negatives Turned Positives:

1. I have no energy. ~~~ I am vibrant and full of energy.

Lately, I am hard pressed to find evidence of this one. The only times I have any energy is when I am out in nature, and when I am at my job. Physical labor which allows me to clear my head. Times when I am alone. Also, I haven’t been sleeping well, so I have energy that isn’t getting out until later on at night, when the world is asleep. It has been blocked by stress.

2. I have no control. ~~~ I am in control of my life.

Of course I am in control! I am the only one who really makes decisions for me, whether it is just me or my family as a whole. My man is super supportive of me, and does not force his opinion unless the subject is critically important. I am the only one who shapes my life. I decided to become a writer, decided to get a job when we needed it. I am the decision maker.

3. I have no money ~~~ I am attracting large amounts of money.

This one was hard to even write! Especially since I just traded in pop cans to buy diapers this morning. Yet, obviously, I am the primary source of income in the house. I am making money at my job, and am renewing my writing business. I am able to do the right things to bring money in.

4. I cannot win. ~~~ I am a winner.

Well, it ain’t the lottery folks! I am capable of winning the game of life, as it were. I can set a goal and cross the finish line, plain and simple. I had to fight with the electric company Tuesday, and I won! I accomplished the goal. I can be a winner in any situation, if I set my mind to it.

5. I am a failure. ~~~ I am a success.

Let’s see, recent successes. I have been providing for my family, I’ve gotten a few Avon orders. I have started this new blog, which is always a success for trying. I have been supportive of my online friends when they have been struggling in their own lives.

6. I am exhausted. ~~~ I am energetic.

Yes, some of these are similar, or copycats. I wrote them twice, I’ll address them twice. Another time I’ve been energetic is when I’m promoting my services, whether it’s my writing, my blogging, or my Avon. Sharing what I know with others is a real energy booster for me.

7. I am stressed. ~~~ I am calm and relaxed.

Let’s see, at the moment I’m more calm than I have been lately (although still with a stress headache). When I walk on a cloudy day with the smell of fresh air, I am calm. When I listen to binaural beats and meditate on beautiful pictures, I am calm.

8. I am in pain. ~~~ I am healthy and pain free.

Well, I’m not in a coma! I have been healthy enough to work, and I’m not as unhealthy as many people I know. I do not live in constant pain, and have had some good days lately, enough to do what needed done. Unfortunately, I cannot ignore the fact that I have a headache and neck ache.

9. I am poor. ~~~ I am rich.

Well, it may not be in money, but I am rich in love and in family. I do have a roof over my head and food in the fridge. Better off than a lot of people.

10. I am scared. ~~~ I am brave and confident.

I have been pretty brave lately, facing the trials and tribulations. Doing what needs to be done, no matter how scary. I am confident that I am a good writer, and that I will have the success I crave in my career.

11. I am powerless. ~~~ I am powerful.

Power. I could write a whole post on how I don’t understand people’s quests for power. Yet I have been exercising my power, simply by being present. When I post links to Twitter and Plurk, I am putting my power out into the world. I am using my influence to encourage others to read what I have written. Whenever I write anything, I am using my power to influence what you think. Perhaps a simple view of power, but that’s what I’ve got.

Look forward to parts 2 and 3 of this series! Let’s learn what doing affirmations and sending out positive energies can really do for you. And, mostly, me.

~Kimberlee

LOA and My Stress

Yesterday, I was in the chat room of Future Tarot (which is a great site that I write for) and we starting talking about LOA, the Law of Attraction. You may have heard of this before, made famous by The Secret. Anyway, the gist of it (as I understand it) is that the universe is full of energy, and you receive what you give. So if you have a positive outlook on life, positive things will happen to you, and if you succumb to negative energy, bad things will be drawn to you.

While this sounds good, it doesn’t make sense in my life. First of all, it sounds too Tinkerbell to me (clap your hands to save her!). Second, it just hasn’t happened. I could be having a great day, and then WHAM! – instant stress, instant problems, and instant bad mood.

While I totally respect everyone who has had success with this process, I think it is more difficult for some people to utilize than others. Some people can just “flick the switch” in their minds, and start thinking happy thoughts. I, on the other hand, am an emotionally ruled person, and have no concept of just being happy because I want to be.

Let’s give yesterday as an example. Woke up to orange aquarium rocks on the kitchen floor, thanks to my youngest. Then, my oldest daughter decided to “cook” by dragging everything out of the dishwasher, and making french toast with half a loaf of bread drenched in syrup. (No stove involved here people, just a vivid imagination.) That, combined with all my financial woes at this point, sent me over the edge.

I was pissed at the world, dreading my entire situation, and searching my mind for answers. I couldn’t focus, couldn’t sort through the forest, and I felt like I was flailing through the universe. In layman’s terms, it was an anxiety attack, plain and simple. I was even happy I was called into work early, so I could get out of my head and just focus on other things for awhile.

Now, I tried to be happy, to think positive thoughts. I tried relaxing, letting go of my problems, and enjoying the simple moments of my life. Instead of feeling better, I got a headache and became nauseous. At any moment where my constant focusing on good things strayed for a millisecond, I was instantly back in the midst of extreme panic. Reliving my faults, and worrying about the future.

I’ve asked a few people how they do it. How do you just ignore everything, and “Don’t worry, be happy?” The only answer I’ve gotten was “I just do it.” While that’s great for them, it doesn’t help me in the least. I’ve tried everything I can think of, and nothing is working. Oh, and all that positivity I’ve been forcing out into the universe? Not reaping much results from those meager efforts, anyway.

So, if you’re an LOA minded person, and can offer a solution to my problem, I’d be thrilled! If not, just let me know what you think. I’m tired of being tired, and need something different, obviously.

~Kimberlee

Doogie: The First Blogger

(Special Image Credit: When looking for a picture for this post, I found out that there’s a Twitter service called Twoogie, where you can post to Twitter on Doogie’s computer screen. Thanks to Focusoft for pointing me in the right direction!)

Right now, I’m recuperating from this long day with some coffee, tylenol, and vanilla honey incense. Too blech about the whole thing to get into it now, since I’m trying to get myself out of it! So instead, I’ll reminisce about one of my favorite childhood bloggers: Doogie Houser, M.D.

Now, all Doogie was missing was a solid internet connection (and the invention of the interwebz, WordPress, etc.) to be the world’s first blogger! He wrote about his life, strange as it was. His blogging served as a catharsis and reflection about his day. He was transparent, and we all had the chance to peek into his life via our fuzzy, hardwood, 80′s TVs. His words, his blue screen, and his blinking cursor mesmerized us all. The first reality TV, mixed with blogging. (Has anybody done that yet?)

Now, while I loved the concept of the show, combined with the troubles that intelligent people face in the real world, I did not have a crush on Doogie. Sorry folks! I was more into Vinnie, the bad boy next door. (This explains a lot of my real world relationship choices, just so you know.) But Doogie had his charm, and he was insightful, thoughtful, and faced real dilemmas. Not once did he have to decide who to vote off the island. Seriously.

Sometimes, I think back to the simpler times. That sentence makes me sound so old! But really, in the 80′s, we didn’t have to worry about how crystal clear anything looked or sounded. HDTV was when your TV antenna were perched at the exact right angles to ensure you had minimal fuzziness. iPods were scratchy mix tapes jammed into your stereos. (Random aside: New, with CD players! “CD player? Can it play records? Let’s put a record in it.” – The Wedding Singer, roughly.)

So, I guess my whole point today is that I miss the good ole days. Yes, when Doogie came out, I was six. So what? Sometimes, that kind of disconnect is what we all need. And sometimes, the connection, the transparency of the internet life, is what makes the new century that much better.

Thoughts? Spill ‘em!

~Kimberlee

My Morning Chaos

Every morning, my two little girls jolt me into a new day. I love them to pieces, but once in awhile sleeping in until noon would be nice. So far this morning, I have been wrestled and pinned to the couch, had to remake their beds (mattresses and frames), and change about ten diapers, because the youngest refuses to keep them on. Either that, or the diapers refuse to stay on her!

I love the experts who say “Get up an hour earlier than the rest of your family.” My girls usually get up at 7 am, but they’ll hear me if I get up sooner. I’d have to wake up at 4 am to have any chance at all of beating them to the punch! And, of course, it would take three pots of coffee to wake me up enough to get anything done, which would bring us back to 7 am.

My man, who is a great support during these kinds of mornings, has been a bit out of sorts lately. He had his teeth pulled, and lazer surgery on his eyes. He’s recovering beautifully, and therein lies the problem. Now his insomnia has no barriers, and is coming back full force! He’s always been an insomniac, but with chronic tooth pain he had no choice but to sleep. Now, sleep is only coming at 6 am.

I finally got around to making my first cup of coffee this morning, and eating a few Gardetto’s. I love those! The italian blend is the best, but I can never find them around here.

The above pic is of my two girls, on Mother’s Day. We spent it at his parents’ house, and had some yummy cheeseburgers. They had a blast playing in the mini trampoline, and with the air pump! They also played with a little red wagon, filling it with grass clippings from the yard’s first mowing of the spring. I wish we lived in the country, in our own place, so we could spend more days like that.

Got to run, littlest one just piddled on the floor. Ah, the joys of Motherhood!

~Kimberlee

My Favorite Color is Purple (And Don’t You Forget It!)

So, in an effort to unwind from my stressful day (read: kids screaming nonstop until they passed out) I am listening to I-dose binaural beats and Stumbling random stuff to cheer me up. Now, for those of you who don’t know, my favorite color is purple. As a kid, my first favorite color was red, then green, and now purple. If it is purple, I want it!

So, much to my surprise, I stumbled upon a color-based Flickr search engine. All you have to do is click on their color palette, and it chooses pictures that match your colors, up to ten choices. So I picked every shade of purple they have available, and found some great pics, like these:

Now, I don’t know why I’ve always been so drawn to purple. It’s the color of royalty, of creativity, and blends smoothly from pink to indigo. It encapsulates everything I think of about fantasy and the writing life. It makes me happy.

But a big shoutout to those people who know how to use a camera for creating these great pics, and for those programmers who finally figured out how to make a Flickr search useful. You rock!

So, what makes you happy? And what is your favorite color? (Yes, I know, such a middle school question. But still, it’s one that is always insightful, and connects to our inner, artistic selves.)

-Kimberlee

What to Expect From a Genuine Life

The Genuine Life Guide, featuring Kimberlee Ferrell

Hi everyone! I’m Kimberlee, and you may know me from Twitter, Plurk, Facebook, or heck, even real life. Lucky you! I claimed this blog name a few months ago, with the intention of writing a self-help blog that could help you live a genuine life that you could be proud of.

After it sat unused for awhile, I came to the stunning realization:

Why write about it, when I can live it?

After all, we’ve heard it all before. Smile, live generously, and be as transparent as you can be about every detail of your life. Pursue the happiness in the moment, instead of wistfully dreaming of a someday that will never be until you get off your ass and do something.

Yet, in our reality, this is harder than it sounds. You’re going to get cut off in traffic, your web host is going to crash, and you will lose the ones you love. It happens to the best of us. And, despite it all, we aren’t always happy.

Sometimes it’s healthy to break down and cry.

In turn, I’ve also realized that being genuine is not as easy as it sounds. When you’re trying to become an “expert” in your “niche” it is hard to let yourself go and tell the story of how you spit chocolate milk out of your nose in second grade. Seriously.

So this blog’s mission is to expose the real me. The honest to goodness, genuine me, as a sort of life/internet experiment.

I’m going to tell you all kinds of wacky stories, from what I did this morning, to my first realizations about life as a child. My dreams for the future, and my disappointments about the past. Heck, maybe even past lives, if I’m so inclined.

You’re in for a wild ride here. This blog is almost guaranteed to be enough proof to get me locked away in a loony bin for the rest of my life, counting how many pads could fill up my padded cell. Maybe you’ll laugh, maybe you’ll cry, but you will get to know me. The real me.

So, welcome aboard! Drag — er, invite your friends along. Showings are at 6, 10, and midnight. Bring your own popcorn.

~Kimberlee