Yesterday, I was in the chat room of Future Tarot (which is a great site that I write for) and we starting talking about LOA, the Law of Attraction. You may have heard of this before, made famous by The Secret. Anyway, the gist of it (as I understand it) is that the universe is full of energy, and you receive what you give. So if you have a positive outlook on life, positive things will happen to you, and if you succumb to negative energy, bad things will be drawn to you.

While this sounds good, it doesn’t make sense in my life. First of all, it sounds too Tinkerbell to me (clap your hands to save her!). Second, it just hasn’t happened. I could be having a great day, and then WHAM! – instant stress, instant problems, and instant bad mood.

While I totally respect everyone who has had success with this process, I think it is more difficult for some people to utilize than others. Some people can just “flick the switch” in their minds, and start thinking happy thoughts. I, on the other hand, am an emotionally ruled person, and have no concept of just being happy because I want to be.

Let’s give yesterday as an example. Woke up to orange aquarium rocks on the kitchen floor, thanks to my youngest. Then, my oldest daughter decided to “cook” by dragging everything out of the dishwasher, and making french toast with half a loaf of bread drenched in syrup. (No stove involved here people, just a vivid imagination.) That, combined with all my financial woes at this point, sent me over the edge.

I was pissed at the world, dreading my entire situation, and searching my mind for answers. I couldn’t focus, couldn’t sort through the forest, and I felt like I was flailing through the universe. In layman’s terms, it was an anxiety attack, plain and simple. I was even happy I was called into work early, so I could get out of my head and just focus on other things for awhile.

Now, I tried to be happy, to think positive thoughts. I tried relaxing, letting go of my problems, and enjoying the simple moments of my life. Instead of feeling better, I got a headache and became nauseous. At any moment where my constant focusing on good things strayed for a millisecond, I was instantly back in the midst of extreme panic. Reliving my faults, and worrying about the future.

I’ve asked a few people how they do it. How do you just ignore everything, and “Don’t worry, be happy?” The only answer I’ve gotten was “I just do it.” While that’s great for them, it doesn’t help me in the least. I’ve tried everything I can think of, and nothing is working. Oh, and all that positivity I’ve been forcing out into the universe? Not reaping much results from those meager efforts, anyway.

So, if you’re an LOA minded person, and can offer a solution to my problem, I’d be thrilled! If not, just let me know what you think. I’m tired of being tired, and need something different, obviously.

~Kimberlee

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